Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
