I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
