got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
