i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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