So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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