my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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