i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
