so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Randomize
