I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
