I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
