I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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