I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
