What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Randomize
