I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
