I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
