That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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