so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize