dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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