I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
