you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
