He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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