you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
