Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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