I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
