dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
