We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
