I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
