1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
