it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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