she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
