she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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