I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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