you would pick up someone in the library
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like death gave me a hand job
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
