Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
