He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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