my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dignity is for republicans.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
