They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
