talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
