ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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