No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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