If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
