erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
