He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
