gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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