one two three fourrrrnication!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it was like eating out sand paper
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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