so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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