Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
