..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
