I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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