do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
