she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
