Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize