hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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