do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
